Some time ago, early in the morning, when I woke up and went to balcony door to let my kitty out, I spotted this lovely picture:
Cannot say what I like about this photo the most. Is it the very surreal touch of something-reflecting-in-something-else type, or that lovely shade of blue, or maybe the shape of that bizarre vessel, reminding me of sports cars. Enough said, I felt a great urge to take this photo, put it up on FB and deviantart, and then relish the moment.
Two days later, the wind changed its direction and then I saw it all in a completely new perspective. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a new, undiscovered side of my little surreal visitor:
Awww, isn't it cute? <3
All that story made me think a bit (I think too much, that's my problem, one of many, may I say) and finally I reached some conclusion, pick whatever you like the most:
- not everything is what it seems
- do not seek for a new meaning of something that has none
- even the biggest cliché has its absurd, surreal charm that begins and ends in your very own mind
This week, on Jun 1st, we celebrated International Children's Day in Poland. Funny enough, I got wishes and little gifts from my parents (mind that I'm 30). This made me a think a bit of adulthood and childhood.
Very often I get to hear from the adults that they'd like to be children again. Teenagers claim themselves proudly not being children any more. There seems to be a lot of myths and longings regarding childhood and I cannot understand why.
My childhood was not that much careless and happy (mostly because of frequent injuries, I've always been living on the edge), but wasn't miserable either, because I had a chance to grow up in a lovely house with a big garden, having lots of pets, family folks and children around me. Did not like school, but did not agonize over it either. Absolutely ordinary child living ordinary life.
But why would I miss it, anyway? Getting up at 7 every day to make it to school at 8? Spending vast amount of time on learning needless stuff? Listening to others telling me what to do? Carrying all that heavy books? Hell no!
Sure, it was great to have 2 months off. But anyway, my parents could not send me anywhere to any longer than 2-3 weeks for some summer camp, and for the rest of time I was just playing in the backyard or bothering my relatives, which was even more boring than my usual routine. Now it's pretty much the same - I take 2 weeks off and take off! And my possibilities are plenty, I can go anywhere I want, book a hotel and flight by myself and - luckily - not to worry about the budget too much.
My parents indeed provided for me. But does that mean that my life was careless and free of responsibility? Not really. I had to help my mom with cleaning, shopping and cooking, on top of that had to go to school, to a lot of homework and taking some extra classes (music, English) after school. Also, I started doing part-time job at the age of 15. Looking at the bigger picture, I think that the proportion of work and pleasure in my life was pretty much the same as it is now, and this is definitely a good thing. If your childhood was any more careless or care-loaded, then sorry to break this to you, but the happy period you miss so much does not look very happy to me.
I do miss some activities I did as a kid, like trees climbing, cycling or skipping rope, but who says I cannot go back to it? Sure, I'm much heavier, have a huge, fat ass and am a bit of lazy when it comes to physical activities, but it's not something I cannot cope with, that is, if I really wanted to.
Maybe that's really the thing you're all longing for - when you were kids, you wanted to do more. You miss it? Just get yourself together and want it again. Yes, it's that simple.
I know that this statement is against popular beliefs and maybe even common sense (a bit), but I cannot help it:
I HATE SUMMER
That's right. When all of you dream of giving your tired stinky feet some fresh air in sandals, eating ice cream, sunbathing and girls sundressing up, I dream of hibernation, just like bears do in winter.
Why do I think summer sucks?
1. The heat I hate the heat. When the temperature goes above 20 C, I sweat like a racing horse, suffer from constant dehydration, cannot think straight and get depressed. Whenever I hear of someone spending their summer holidays in Greece, Egypt or Turkey, I ask myself, where a human being's self-destruction mechanism is going to stop. Thus, despite of throwing away umbrellas broken by wind and getting soaking wet few times a month, I do not regret living in Ireland. I'm freezing and loving it!
Note to HR: I believe my office requires some rearrangement.
2. Children let out loose Children are alwais a pain in the arse, but it gets even worse during summer. They yell, call each other names, beg for a cigarette, spill soda on each other etc. I kinda feel for them - they're just bored, being our of school for the whole 2 months. If you let an animal bred in captivity into the wild, it cannot adapt either. Don't even get me started on Spanish school trips in Dublin, ugh.
It takes actual magic to put the little bastards in order during summer.
3. Staphylococcus aureus waiting just round the corner Ice cream anyone? Come on, this poor Staphylococcus has a bunch of itteh bitteh bacteria to feed!
Just wait until it melts all over your fingers and lick it. Get sugar rush and nasty comments, if you're a woman.
BTW, did you know that "making ice cream" in Polish slang means "make me a bj"? ;)
4. Killing sunrays You never know when it's this one-minute-too-much of staying out of shadow. Before you know it, your skin is red like on a roast pig, sunstroke makes drink you a river and a skin on your nose makes you sing "The falling leaves". If that sneaky prick the sun hides behind the clouds in the morning, you might find yourself forgetting your sunglasses and shedding tears for the rest of the day. Or week. In my case rather the latter.
Falling asleep in the sun: quite a dork indeed. BTW, thanks to that movie I've learned my very first English offensive word (dork). I was less than 8.
5. Cultural desert Shitty movies coming out, museums and libraries closing early, nothing interesting on TV (not that I have any, call me a hipster or whatever). And everything filled with tourists anyway.
Summer repertoir in the biggest multiplex cinema in Dublin. Usually that list is twice long, at least. What should I watch: "Pirates of No Brain", "Apocalypse Now - Well, 40 fucking years ago, actually", some crappy animation for retards and children, or maybe American clone of "Azumi"? Wow, tough choice!
Which leads to the next point...
6. Crowd everywhere How about visiting some interesting place? Awesome! - said roughly half of the population of Europe. I'm not even talking of Notre Dame, Eiffel tower, Colosseum, Temple Bar and all those places you'd take a photo of (with you in a foreground) to pimp your facebook profile - these spots are crowded all year long and summer is no different from the middle of December (true story). During summer crowd is EVERY-FUCKING-WHERE. Planes, buses, trains, pubs, clubs, restaurants, museums, cafes, parks, beaches, even bloody pavements on my way to work. All the places you think of going - that hateful crowd is already there, violating your private space and making you want to accuse them of sexual harassment. I'm not exactly the most sociable person on Earth and each time I manage to improve my attitude, any summer day ruins it.
Let's meet at the beach and swim in somebody's pee!
7. Dreadful fashion I hate sandals, bright colours and light fabrics. I love tall, steelcap boots, wool, turtlenecks - and all that in black, gray or purple. When summer comes, I have to place all my favourite cloths in a storage. As if it wasn't complicated enough, during summer it takes more time and effort to look, if not hot, then at least half-decent. All that cleavages and short pants require more shaving, pedicure and maybe even getting tanned (eww at the very idea of holding still for such a trivial idea like looking better, what a waste of time - believe it or not, but I am actually writing all this while waiting for my nail polish to dry up). You cannot simply cover everything up with geisha style make-up and thick thights. I hate that whole hassle about being feminine.
Not only looks stylish but also feels nicer to touch, because it's always way more smooth than a skin. Yes, gentlemen ;)
8. Life exploding straight to my face Mosquitos lusting for my blood like Edward Cullen himself (3 bites this year, so far, round my ankles of course, which could probably get me to the top of Ministry of Silly Walks). Fat, bold flies that piss my cat off (2 permanent residents in my place so far, they would not pay the rent, which is just unfair). Water stinking of rotten eggs. Gardens smell nice indeed, but still I prefer their smell during springtime.
Sure, I do like when it's not raining and it's awesome instead. But isn't it the case during any other season as well? In Ireland it's like a lottery anyway. Personally I prefer sunlight in autumn, it's mild, warm, harmless and makes my photos look swell.
Summer, GTFO!
Probably the only good thing about summer are the songs about it.
The title of the following note is inspired by absolutely fantastic facebook feature that I have recently discovered: interface in English (pirate). With one click my friends changed into me hearties, my hour was divided into 60 shots o' rum and if I do not attend an event, I'm supposed to be swabbing th' deck instead. Whoever did that, was a freaking genius.
Those who know me better can see that I'm upset about something very often. Be it films, politics, coffee machine, Dublin Bus or my own failures, it takes very little for me to start shooting words of disapproval towards everyone and everything as fast as a machine gun. Yes, I am a judgmental, opinion-making, elitist bitch. However, usually I'm not like that in my blogs. Sure, sometimes my point of view on this or that will sneak into a post about baking a chocolate cake, but in general I am trying to keep it hate-free.
Well, this time I cannot hold it any more. I feel that my opinion on this must be heard. OK, maybe blogging is just an illusion of being actually heard, but it's worth to try.
I've looked at this year's Oscar nominees and I thought (not for the first time, obviously): "Quo vadis, Hollywood?". I haven't seen all those pictures yet, but seeing "Inception" amongst them seriously pissed me off.
Yes, I have seen that crap. Of course I didn't like it! Do you want to know why?
Let's go back in time to late 1990s for a moment.
I suppose you might not be a SF fan and therefore not hearing of the following two films: Dark City The Thirteenth Floor
First picture is a dark story of a weird city, in which expression "night life" gets far too literal. Always sunk in a nightfall, mysterious urban jungle is in fact sort of RPG for a bunch of aliens, who "tune" this little world by changing inhabitants' lives, their roles in the society, circumstances, families, houses... (the story by Alex Proyas, the director, seems to be strongly based on one of short stories by Philip K. Dick, only I cannot remember which one). Personally I did not find the film that brilliant (mostly because I don't like Jennifer Connelly, her acting is getting on my nerves), but I liked the atmosphere and that slight steampunk touch.
The latter film is about, well, sinking into dreams and virtual reality. Plot is a bit complicated and I would rather not reveal its details not to spoil the surprise to those who might be willing to watch it, but it's all there: parallel world, tampering sense of reality, intrigue, mystery. Again, I do not find this film the best picture ever, but appreciate the story and atmosphere.
Truth be told, both of these movies lose a lot because of the female leads. Both Gretchen Mol and Jennifer Connelly are too busy looking beautiful to take care of their acting properly. You might call me ugly, jealous or whatever, I don't care. I think the producers could have chosen better, period.
So, mingle these 2 pictures, add more dough, cast popular actors and you get "Inception".
Few people recommended that movie to me, so I went to see it in a cinema (good that I got an early bird price instead of paying 10 euro for that bullshit). I just cannot get over how disappointed I am. This picture is nothing new or interesting to anyone who has read/seen even a little bit of science fiction. It's a long, tedious, tacky show of special effects and pseudo intellectual dialogues taken straight from soap operas. Marion Cotillard, whom I truly adore, speaks English so badly that I can barely understand her, same goes for Ken Watanabe. WTF? Watch "Memoirs of a geisha" or "Big fish", their English is really good. Why on Earth they have decided to fake bad accents now? To make it more international? To make it more politically correct by praising the diversity? In that case, why Cillian Murphy would not speak with his Cork accent? That would be fun!
To be perfectly clear: I do appreciate all actors casted in this movie. I love Di Caprio, Page, Cotillard, Watanabe and Murphy. I simply think that "Inception" is not the best of their performances. Maybe they thought "oh, what the hell, people will go see this anyway, because the poster is so fancy, probably they will be admiring special effects more than anything else, so what's the point of trying to act". Feels like a slap in the face to me.
Once again, I find myself a complete rebel, or someone living in a different reality than others, because I cannot understand why this film got so much appreciation from the public. Oh, how much they enjoy discussing this picture, trying to figure out which dream was where, who was in the limbo and who wasn't, did Di Caprio wake up or not. You know what? I don't give a damn!
I think the only thing I really liked about "Inception" was the vision of Paris folded in half like a crêpe. Don't ask me, why.
OK, but I guess I drifted away from the main point of my rant. Hollywood is all about being tacky, this movie is just following this logic. Fair enough.
What I really hate is the fact that "Inception" is the rip-off and it gets rewarded, while the other 2 pictures hardly got any recognition. Only proves my point about Oscars: it doesn't take to be original in your filmmaking any more, it just takes money and popular name. Same story with "The Departed", which is a remake of great action drama from Hong Kong, titled "Internal affairs", and got an award for the best picture in 2006.
I know that copying is not a theft, but it does not deserve recognition either. I understand that you might not have an idea of your own, but in that case why should you be an artist? You can try to do something else for a living. For example, I like singing and playing guitar sometimes, but I cannot write any good lyrics and I'm not creative enough to compose any good melody. Thus, I test software to pay my rent and post my recordings on 4shared.com just for my own satisfaction, and I do not expect to be rewarded for that.
Getting rewarded for a film remake is like stating that you invented anal sex just because you have performed in few porn videos. You are only making yourself look ridiculous.
Just sayin'
To get things back on affirmative track, last weekend I watched "The social network" and absolutely loved it. Jesse Eisenberg looks even more nerdy than Zuckerberg himself, plot is fascinating, the style of telling the story keeps a spectator tense and awaiting impatiently for what's next. Totally "like" it! Or, keeping it pirate: "Arr!"
So, another Christmas in Ireland for me, third one already. Time flies, doesn't it? This year I am going to celebrate it in Polish way, as I usually do. It's not very practical and kinda complicated (even with Polish food available here in Dublin, products are simply no good), but if anyone asked me what I like about my tradition the most, I would say: Christmas. Despite all the fever and nerves, all that cooking, shopping and cleaning, this is my favourite occasion. Recently it occurred to me that our Christmas customs are quite interesting an unusual to the foreigners I'd been talking to, so I though: what the bells, I might as well act as a cultural ambassador here and educate you a little.
Preparation
Polish windows open to the inside and one can wash them themselves,
without hiring someone with a ladder/crane for it - simple, yet brilliant
This is absolutely unavoidable, like a full moon: thou shalt clean thine home. I am trying to avoid that haze as much as I can, but family pressure is always strong. Christmas time starts with huge cleaning that includes even the darkest corners of one's home. I've heard that it comes from Jewish tradition and symbolizes welcoming a new year with a clean break. OK, it is nice to have clean house for Christmas, but nowadays it's just hard to have a full-time job and perfect household, especially with cat hair flying every-fecking-where. I have cleaned few days ago and today have to redo it... Sigh.
So, cleaning. Including windows, floors, top of high furniture, lampshades and all other places you normally don't care about.
Czubek, 29 cm long,
perfect for a huge tree
Another constant and quite obvious element of preparation is shopping. We're going to do a lot of cooking, so we need products. We celebrate gathering as much of our family as possible, so we need a lot of presents. We put on our Christmas trees plenty of cute things (there's even a saying Choince we wszystkim ładnie - meaning: "everything looks nice on a Christmas tree"; my friend tends to call it baroque tree), so it's really hard to resist when you see some nice decoration for your choinka (just because you have bombs in all colours and shapes possible, but you don't have one shaped like an angel yet! woohoo!).
Which leads us to the nicest part of the preparation: decorating a Christmas tree. In my family usually it is done by children, they are very eager to do this since they can eat some candies while preparing hooks to hang out the rest. On the top we usually do not put an angel, but some weird spiky thing called czubek choinkowy (meaning: "the Christmas tree top" - scorn not its simplicity :D). Sometimes it's star-shaped too.
Czubek in Polish also means "wacko", so beware. It's all about the context ;)
Cooking
This part is even more exhausting than cleaning. It is the tradition that there must be 12 (no, it's not a typo, twelve it is) dishes on the table during Dec 24th supper. The idea is to try a bit of every dish to have a good luck next year (12 months, figures). Fortunately, it's not as dramatic as it looks, for example, a soup with dumplings in it counts as two dishes. Bread is a dish, butter as well. Menu varies depending on the region of Poland, but there are some common elements:
beetroot soup with uszka
- a soup - in my home and mostly in the eastern part of the country it's beetroot soup with uszka (literally: "little ears", some sort of mushroom ravioli), in the south it's a mushroom soup, central regions make a sour cabbage soup (kwaśnica or kapuśniak)
- a hot dish of cabbage (with mushrooms or with peas - the latter is rather disgusting and makes one's Christmas very farty experience, fortunately my family is the mushroom kind)
- dumplings (pierogi): cottage cheese & mash potato stuffing (so-called ruskie, literally: Russians; my boss who is Russian really lol'd at it) AND cabbage & mushroom stuffing
- herring fillets with onion - with sour cream or oil, usually both versions are served
- vegetable salad with mayonnaise (so-called "Italian salad")
- carp - usually served in several versions, my family prepares one fried in bread crumbles and one "Jewish", in grey onion sauce with raisins, recipe with sour jelly and vegetables is also very common; funny enough, even though carp is a very tasty fish, it is not eaten except for Christmas, one cannot even buy it at any other time
Nowadays it's rare, but when I was a kid, it was impossible
to buy a dead carp, we were buying alive ones, putting them
in the bath and then killing them on our own. How am I
supposed to be compassionate and kind when I was brought
up in the country where each household was turning into
a slaughterhouse during this special time? :D
- other fish dishes - at my home it's usually so-called ryba po grecku (literally: Greek fish salad; cod fillets fried with carrot, onion and tomato sauce, served cold)
- dessert with poppyseed - again, depends on a home, depends on a region; usually there is a roll cake with poppyseeds (so-called makowiec) and some sort of poppyseed salad - in the east and at my home it's kutia (poppyseeds+boiled wheat grain+raisins+figs+various types of nuts+honey+sweet cream), in the western part it's noodles with poppyseed and raisins
- other sweet things - mostly pies and cakes, like cheesecake, cupcakes etc.
Babka - a giant cupcake with a hole in the middle, more
common for Easter, but also eaten during Christmas; served sliced
Oh, I can hear it now: where's turkey? Well, we get to the most interesting part... (drum roll)
During Polish Christmas eve supper there is no meat and no alcohol.
Thus, loads of cabbage, dumplings and fish.
I can assure you, all dishes above are yummy, unfortunately quite difficult to prepare.
Wigilia
Finally, the supper itself. You might think that there isn't much of fooling around since we have to eat all that delicious 12 dishes we worked so hard to prepare, but it gets even more complex from here.
First of all, supper must start with the first star appearing in the sky. Obviously, my family is not very organized and I don't recall ever being on time with the commence of the feast, but this is the tradition. Secondly, celebration starts not with eating, but with opłatek (literally: a crisp) - each person is given a piece of white & very thin crisp and must approach every single person in the room in order to exchange Christmas wishes. During the exchange, one gets a bit of the crisp of the other person and must eat it to seal their wishful thinking. Opłatek is also widely celebrated in workplaces and schools shortly before Christmas holidays. Personally I think it's a beautiful moment and truly pictures the spirit of Christmas. I wish we had this here, it's a great opportunity to show one's good will and feelings towards all the people around you. No gifts, food or other distractions, just a good word and smile. Opłatek is given away in churches, fee for it is voluntary and the crisp is consecrated.
Opłatek is usually patterned with nativity scenes
One more interesting thing: presents are opened straight after the supper, we do not wait until the next morning. This is really awesome :)
Carols
Kolędy (carols) are probably the only reason I'd ever liked going to church. They are all absolutely beautiful and singing them gives me a lot of joy. All of them are religious-themed, but rather loosely connected to the spiritual part of the occasion, more describing reaction of the surrounding (the shepherds, three wise men etc.) or feelings of Virgin Mary. My favourite one is Gdy śliczna panna (As the beautiful maiden) which is a lullaby sang by Mary to the baby Jesus just like a mother sings to her beloved baby, very sweet song.
At home we usually sing carols together with the whole family (during supper, sometimes even during cooking) and it's absolutely mandatory to me to accompany the crowd with my guitar. So, here it is (myself solo this time):
Sadly, carols are not usually played on the radio. However, there is another,
Little less serious tradition
"Last Christmas" by Wham. With the beginning of the December the haze starts and George Michael squeals about giving his heart zillion times a day, until New Year. This year someone even created an event on facebook called "'Last Christmas' on the radio" season. I hate this song, seriously.
I also hate "All I want for Christmas is you" by Mariah Carey, mostly because I hear it too often. But apart from these two, I like Christmas-themed songs a lot. Especially the classic ones like the one about Rudolf or White Christmas.
Another vital element of "new tradition" is Home Alone (and the sequel, of course) on Polsat channel . This year they initially planned to screen some other movies and got tons of letters from disappointed audience demanding seeing Kevin for 100th time. So, Kevin is back in the game and probably people will never ever dare to complain on these movies again.
There are only two certain things in this world:
death and Home Alone on TV during Christmas
Christmas without Kevin on Polsat
I feel as if I was about to spend Christmas alone
- Shouldn't you be in Polsat now?
- This year I'm on holidays!
- Really? See for yourself!
(news: "Finally, Christmas with Kevin")
Religion
Of course, it is essential that one goes to church during that time (especially to so-called Pasterka, literally: the shepherd's mass; starts on the verge of 24th and 25th). Well, I don't. I hate churches, I don't care about any religion at all. I believe that one can be a good human being without some guy in a dress who is trained to tell others what to do (No, Dougal, nazis are people who dress in black and tell others what to do, while us, Catholic Church... uhm... let's have a drink! - "Father Ted") - and that's exactly why I love Christmas. Being a rebel and rather eccentric bitch, I love the joy of giving, presence of my family and all that excitement buzzing in the air.
Thus, dear readers, whatever religion you're into, whatever your tradition is, may you all have a happy time full of love, friendship and peace.
Happy Christmas!!!
Wesołych Świąt!!!
Joyeux Noël!!!
Nollaig shona dhuit!!!
Polish carol for dessert: Bóg się rodzi (God is born)
So, Chopin Year celebration is still going. It has it's good and bad sides. The bad (or not exactly bad, but slightly disgusting) side is - everyone's trying to benefit from it and simply use Freddie's name to promote themselves (and all that almost 200 years after he's gone - that's what I call FAME!). The good side is: since so many various musicians get themselves into that "Chopin Wow!" action, we get a chance to hear a lot of weird, surprising music combinations.
During my last Christmas holidays in Poland, to satisfy my huge patriotic-cultural hunger, I have bought a nice CD: Andrzej Jagodziński trio - "Chopin, Sonata in B flat minor". I like that CD a lot, although I must confess that it took it a while to grow on me and still I need to be in a mood to listen to it. But where I am in the mood, I truly relish it.
BTW, to me "Chopin in jazz style" sounds a bit like "Eminem in HH style"... Just saying.
As every jazz fan knows, jazz live will always outrank jazz from a CD, so when being in Szczecin (my home town, PL) I heard that Andrzej Jagodziński Trio is in town and giving a concert - simply had to go.
The gig was absolutely awesome. First, the band performed a few small pieces, jazz-ing them in the usual theme-solo-solo-solo-theme way (that part was a bit dull, actually). After that, they presented the sonata itself. What they really did was to split the themes and motives of the original piece between each other, like orchestras tend to do, but all that in jazz spirit.
I know it sounds a bit weird and kinda hard to imagine, so I prepared a little sample for you:
Holidays are long gone, I got back to Dublin.
On Tuesday morning, catching up on facebook, I have found an info that on the very same day, at 7 pm, in Polish House (being quite close to work), there is a small recital of Sam Law, young pianist from Belfast. Chopin and "admission free" were more than enough to make me anticipate evening, humming mazurkas all day long.
I believe I have written it before, but just in case, I'll write it again: Chopin needs to grow on musician. It takes time, years of practice and maturity. Sam is only 19 years old and therefore, was a bit tense and unnatural at the beginning. However, after first 2 pieces he felt comfortable with the audience & venue and completely lost himself in the music he played. He put all his heart, passion and sensitivity in every single note played. At that point, despite the stiff atmosphere in the room, I got carried away and simply sank in the beauty of Sam's performance.
The form of the gig was simple, classical and somewhat commonplace, but Sam's devotion and passion made it unique and worth to remember.
The other thing that seems worth to remember is the fact of me going to that gig. Just think about it - you leave work and go listen to Chopin, instead of Lady Gaga or other club crap. I should do that more often.
Easily said and... surprisingly easily done!
On the very same day when I found out about Sam Law's concert, I have wandered to a website http://www.chopinireland.org/, only to realize that in two days from then I can participate another interesting Chopin-like experience: a band called Sarakina presenting their interpretation of Freddie's pieces in... Balkan style! More out of curiosity than hope for spiritual experience, I have booked a ticket and went to the gig.
And got totally awestruck!
I have absolutely no idea how on Earth they have come up with this. Accordion? Bagpipes? Polonaise transformed into some crazy folk dance? Without a piano?
But still, it's full of Chopin. It's a pure Chopin's music, it's essence and beauty intact.
Still hypnotised, after the show I have bought a CD and thus I can present a bit of the whole material to you:
All that three events have made me realize - again - that Chopin was (and is, by his work) great. He is pianists' curse, inspiration, "elitist sadness", national pride... But above all - he's a great unity of musicians all over the world.
