Evil never dead

No matter how decent your life is, doesn't matter if you live by the book, do not get in others' way and pay your taxes, sooner or later you will meet the evil. You can deny it, turn your back on it, cover up your eyes - sooner or later the evil will become so evil that you won't help noticing it. You'll find yourself standing like a deer in car lights, frozen with fear, waiting for the bumper to hit you instead of running for your life.

All that thoughts came to me yesterday, as I had a chat with a friend about serial killers. We've exchanged some opinions, F words (OK, that was one-sided actually, and that side was me) and wikipedia links. I might sound like a little princess, but my everyday mask of cold-blooded cynicism was melting as I dug through the description of all those bastards' deeds.

I must admit, I'm no saint. I tend to (ab)use some harmful substances, think of some inappropriate stuff and in the moments of great anger I wish some people badly, but in fact I had had no clue what evil really was like. And now I kinda regret that I got a clue, because the amount of evil ran me over like that poor deer that was too stupid to run while there was still time.

Look at any rap/hh video nowadays. It's not even about the songs themselves, which are truly horrible and appear to me as an insult to the music as a whole. I'm not happy with the way women are shown in them either. But the amount of physical violence is just unacceptable. Woman is strangled. Someone gets smacked in a face. A guy is gesticulating with a gun towards the camera. A GUN. That thing that sends at a huge speed a hot, sharp piece of metal towards a human being in order to cause injure, pain or even death.  People die of it. Where's fun in that? OK, chains, hot girls, swimming pool, limo. But gun? Violence? Why do we allow it?

All bad things that happened to me in the past are coming back to me now. Someone hit me hard with a rock at the back of my head (happened to me in a street once, like 15 years ago). My bike or my guitar stolen. An exhibitionist in a park showing me what he's got. Each time I felt pretty much the same way: confused, petrified, shocked, helpless. Why did they do that to me? What did I do to deserve this? How come that this fucked up person is let out loose? How can this person live with themselves?

Back to the serial killers, I was reading about Dahmer. The list of victims and details of his activity disgusted me, but what really made me think was the very ending of the article: inspirations. Books, graphic novels, songs, movies. How can one get inspired with something that horrible? What the hell is wrong with you, people? Why do you keep reviving that evil, what is it that fascinates you so much? Why do you want to show it to the world?

Please, stop doing it. Consider those who don't want to feel confused, petrified and helpless. There are so many funny, inspiring and lusciously nasty things around us: sex, booze (and things people do once they get enough of it in their systems :D), general absurd of corporate world, people's quirks, popculture... And yet some of you prefer relating to a guy who raped, killed, dismembered, ate the flesh and photographed the remnants of 17 boys and men? Seriously, WTF.

Summer sucks

I know that this statement is against popular beliefs and maybe even common sense (a bit), but I cannot help it:

I HATE SUMMER

That's right. When all of you dream of giving your tired stinky feet some fresh air in sandals, eating ice cream, sunbathing and girls sundressing up, I dream of hibernation, just like bears do in winter.


Why do I think summer sucks?


1. The heat
I hate the heat. When the temperature goes above 20 C, I sweat like a racing horse, suffer from constant dehydration, cannot think straight and get depressed. Whenever I hear of someone spending their summer holidays in Greece, Egypt or Turkey, I ask myself, where a human being's self-destruction mechanism is going to stop. Thus, despite of  throwing away umbrellas broken by wind and getting soaking wet few times a month, I do not regret living in Ireland. I'm freezing and loving it! 

Note to HR: I believe my office requires some rearrangement.

2. Children let out loose
Children are alwais a pain in the arse, but it gets even worse during summer. They yell, call each other names, beg for a cigarette, spill soda on each other etc. I kinda feel for them - they're just bored, being our of school for the whole 2 months. If you let an animal bred in captivity into the wild, it cannot adapt either. 
Don't even get me started on Spanish school trips in Dublin, ugh.

It takes actual magic to put the little bastards in order during summer.

3. Staphylococcus aureus waiting just round the corner
Ice cream anyone? Come on, this poor Staphylococcus has a bunch of itteh bitteh bacteria to feed!

Just wait until it melts all over your fingers and lick it. Get sugar rush and nasty comments, if you're a woman.
BTW, did you know that "making ice cream" in Polish slang means "make me a bj"? ;)

4. Killing sunrays
You never know when it's this one-minute-too-much of staying out of shadow. Before you know it, your skin is red like on a roast pig, sunstroke makes drink you a river and a skin on your nose makes you sing "The falling leaves". If that sneaky prick the sun hides behind the clouds in the morning, you might find yourself forgetting your sunglasses and shedding tears for the rest of the day. Or week. In my case rather the latter.

Falling asleep in the sun: quite a dork indeed. BTW, thanks to that movie I've learned my very first English offensive word (dork). I was less than 8.

5. Cultural desert
Shitty movies coming out, museums and libraries closing early, nothing interesting on TV (not that I have any, call me a hipster or whatever). And everything filled with tourists anyway.

Summer repertoir in the biggest multiplex cinema in Dublin. Usually that list is twice long, at least. What should I watch: "Pirates of No Brain", "Apocalypse Now - Well, 40 fucking years ago, actually", some crappy animation for retards and children, or maybe American clone of "Azumi"? Wow, tough choice!

Which leads to the next point...


6. Crowd everywhere
How about visiting some interesting place? Awesome! - said roughly half of the population of Europe. I'm not even talking of Notre Dame, Eiffel tower, Colosseum, Temple Bar and all those places you'd take a photo of (with you in a foreground) to pimp your facebook profile - these spots are crowded all year long and summer is no different from the middle of December (true story). During summer crowd is EVERY-FUCKING-WHERE. Planes, buses, trains, pubs, clubs, restaurants, museums, cafes, parks, beaches, even bloody pavements on my way to work. All the places you think of going - that hateful crowd is already there, violating your private space and making you want to accuse them of sexual harassment. I'm not exactly the most sociable person on Earth and each time I manage to improve my attitude, any summer day ruins it.

Let's meet at the beach and swim in somebody's pee!

7. Dreadful fashion
I hate sandals, bright colours and light fabrics. I love tall, steelcap boots, wool, turtlenecks - and all that in black, gray or purple. When summer comes, I have to place all my favourite cloths in a storage. As if it wasn't complicated enough, during summer it takes more time and effort to look, if not hot, then at least half-decent. All that cleavages and short pants require more shaving, pedicure and maybe even getting tanned (eww at the very idea of holding still for such a trivial idea like looking better, what a waste of time - believe it or not, but I am actually writing all this while waiting for my nail polish to dry up). You cannot simply cover everything up with geisha style make-up and thick thights. I hate that whole hassle about being feminine. 

Not only looks stylish but also feels nicer to touch, because it's always way more smooth than a skin. Yes, gentlemen ;)

8. Life exploding straight to my face
Mosquitos lusting for my blood like Edward Cullen himself (3 bites this year, so far, round my ankles of course, which could probably get me to the top of Ministry of Silly Walks). 
Fat, bold flies that piss my cat off (2 permanent residents in my place so far, they would not pay the rent, which is just unfair).
Water stinking of rotten eggs. 
Gardens smell nice indeed, but still I prefer their smell during springtime.


Sure, I do like when it's not raining and it's awesome instead. But isn't it the case during any other season as well? In Ireland it's like a lottery anyway. Personally I prefer sunlight in autumn, it's mild, warm, harmless and makes my photos look swell.

Summer, GTFO!

Probably the only good thing about summer are the songs about it.

Flapping me gums 'bout recent tales

The title of the following note is inspired by absolutely fantastic facebook feature that I have recently discovered: interface in English (pirate). With one click my friends changed into me hearties, my hour was divided into 60 shots o' rum and if I do not attend an event, I'm supposed to be swabbing th' deck instead. Whoever did that, was a freaking genius.

Those who know me better can see that I'm upset about something very often. Be it films, politics, coffee machine, Dublin Bus or my own failures, it takes very little for me to start shooting words of disapproval towards everyone and everything as fast as a machine gun. Yes, I am a judgmental, opinion-making, elitist bitch. However, usually I'm not like that in my blogs. Sure, sometimes my point of view on this or that will sneak into a post about baking a chocolate cake, but in general I am trying to keep it hate-free.

Well, this time I cannot hold it any more.  I feel that my opinion on this must be heard. OK, maybe blogging is just an illusion of being actually heard, but it's worth to try.

I've looked at this year's Oscar nominees and I thought (not for the first time, obviously): "Quo vadis, Hollywood?". I haven't seen all those pictures yet, but seeing "Inception" amongst them seriously pissed me off.

Yes, I have seen that crap. Of course I didn't like it! Do you want to know why?

Let's go back in time to late 1990s for a moment.
I suppose you might not be a SF fan and therefore not hearing of the following two films:
Dark City
The Thirteenth Floor
First picture is a dark story of a weird city, in which expression "night life" gets far too literal. Always sunk in a nightfall, mysterious urban jungle is in fact sort of RPG for a bunch of aliens, who "tune" this little world by changing inhabitants' lives, their roles in the society, circumstances, families, houses... (the story by Alex Proyas, the director, seems to be strongly based on one of short stories by Philip K. Dick, only I cannot remember which one). Personally I did not find the film that brilliant (mostly because I don't like Jennifer Connelly, her acting is getting on my nerves), but I liked the atmosphere and that slight steampunk touch.
The latter film is about, well, sinking into dreams and virtual reality. Plot is a bit complicated and I would rather not reveal its details not to spoil the surprise to those who might be willing to watch it, but it's all there: parallel world, tampering sense of reality, intrigue, mystery. Again, I do not find this film the best picture ever, but appreciate the story and atmosphere.

Truth be told, both of these movies lose a lot because of the female leads. Both Gretchen Mol and Jennifer Connelly are too busy looking beautiful to take care of their acting properly. You might call me ugly, jealous or whatever, I don't care. I think the producers could have chosen better, period.

So, mingle these 2 pictures, add more dough, cast popular actors and you get "Inception".

Few people recommended that movie to me, so I went to see it in a cinema (good that I got an early bird price instead of paying 10 euro for that bullshit). I just cannot get over how disappointed I am. This picture is nothing new or interesting to anyone who has read/seen even a little bit of science fiction. It's a long, tedious, tacky show of special effects and pseudo intellectual dialogues taken straight from soap operas. Marion Cotillard, whom I truly adore, speaks English so badly that I can barely understand her, same goes for Ken Watanabe. WTF? Watch "Memoirs of a geisha" or "Big fish", their English is really good. Why on Earth they have decided to fake bad accents now? To make it more international? To make it more politically correct by praising the diversity? In that case, why Cillian Murphy would not speak with his Cork accent? That would be fun!
To be perfectly clear: I do appreciate all actors casted in this movie. I love Di Caprio, Page, Cotillard, Watanabe and Murphy. I simply think that "Inception" is not the best of their performances. Maybe they thought "oh, what the hell, people will go see this  anyway, because the poster is so fancy, probably they will be admiring special effects more than anything else, so what's the point of trying to act". Feels like a slap in the face to me.

Once again, I find myself a complete rebel, or someone living in a different reality than others, because I cannot understand why this film got so much appreciation from the public. Oh, how much they enjoy discussing this picture, trying to figure out which dream was where, who was in the limbo and who wasn't, did Di Caprio wake up or not. You know what? I don't give a damn!

I think the only thing I really liked about "Inception" was the vision of Paris folded in half like a crêpe. Don't ask me, why.

OK, but I guess I drifted away from the main point of my rant. Hollywood is all about being tacky, this movie is just following this logic. Fair enough.

What I really hate is the fact that "Inception" is the rip-off and it gets rewarded, while the other 2 pictures hardly got any recognition. Only proves my point about Oscars: it doesn't take to be original in your filmmaking any more, it just takes money and popular name. Same story with "The Departed", which is a remake of great action drama from Hong Kong, titled "Internal affairs", and got an award for the best picture in 2006.

I know that copying is not a theft, but it does not deserve recognition either. I understand that you might not have an idea of your own, but in that case why should you be an artist? You can try to do something else for a living. For example, I like singing and playing guitar sometimes, but I cannot write any good lyrics and I'm not creative enough to compose any good melody. Thus, I test software to pay my rent and post my recordings on 4shared.com just for my own satisfaction, and I do not expect to be rewarded for that.

Getting rewarded for a film remake is like stating that you invented anal sex just because you have performed in few porn videos. You are only making yourself look ridiculous.

Just sayin'

To get things back on affirmative track, last weekend I watched "The social network" and absolutely loved it. Jesse Eisenberg looks even more nerdy than Zuckerberg himself, plot is fascinating, the style of telling the story keeps a spectator tense and awaiting impatiently for what's next. Totally "like" it!
Or, keeping it pirate: "Arr!"

Zuckerberg did not enjoy it, though :D